What's in Your Thinking Bubble?

No matter what we do, our behavior affects how other people think about us. If you help someone pick up something he dropped, he might think: "He's nice," or "I like being his friend." If you say something mean, another kid might think: "She's rude," or "I am not going to sit with her." They might not say it out loud, but you can be sure that these thoughts are in their "thinking bubbles."

In one of our class councils, third graders used personal white boards as their thinking bubbles so that everyone could see the kinds of thoughts people have in response to expected and unexpected behaviors. When we have expected behaviors, people have good thoughts and good feelings about us. When we have unexpected behaviors, people have uncomfortable thoughts and feelings about us.

In these pictures, third graders are showing what is in their thinking bubbles when "Person A" calls someone else a name -- "Person A" is mean, a big bully, not nice, etc. We used several different examples of expected and unexpected behaviors, and the kids wanted to keep going past the end of class council time. It was pretty eye opening for them to recognize what an impact their behavior has on how other people think and feel about them and how it affects whether or not others want to be their friend, work partner, or seatmate.

EveryONE Belongs

To wrap up our first grade unit on bullying we read the book One by Kathryn Otoshi. The characters in the book are colors: Red, a bully; Blue, his target; and Yellow, Orange, Green, and Purple, who don't like the bullying, but don't know what to do to stop it. When they don't speak up, Red gets stronger and Blue gets weaker, and everyone is unhappy. . . Until One comes along and shows everyone how to stand up for themselves and each other. One provides a powerful lesson on including others and how sometimes just one person can make a difference.

The first graders thought about ways that they could make sure that everyone is included, then made collage pictures to illustrate their ideas about. Here are a few examples of kids including everyone when they play basketball, read, play foursquare, do math, play kickball, play hockey, and draw:

Happy National School Counseling Week!

The week of February 6 is National School Counselors' Week. We won't be doing anything special to celebrate it at DBS, but this image was just too great not to share.

Unfortunately, school counselors CAN'T always keep up with their blogging. Working with kids, parents, and teachers has to take priority over writing about it. And they can't always do that either, like when they're forced to take time out of school to recover from surgery. I (Rebecca) have been out for a couple of weeks, but am hoping to make a comeback this Thursday. Until then, there's time to catch up on blogging about what kids have been learning in class councils and groups. Stay tuned!

Many thanks to the fifth grade girls who sprinkled me with magic fairy dust so that my surgery would go well (it worked!), and to my co-counselor, Erica Talbot, who has been filling in and working with my 1st, 3rd, and 5th grade students.

Here's a wonderful note I received from a student (complete with his spelling):

Sorry you broke your foot!
I hope it gets better soon.
I am working hard
Just for you
You are good
At wate you do
You are good at teching
You are good at prity much
Everything.

I feel very lucky to be a school counselor for so many reasons, not least of which is that I get notes like these!

P.S. Do you think the school counselor in this picture got arms like that from using crutches to get around school?

Have a bully free holiday!

In the spirit of the holiday season some of the fourth graders decided to decorate my door. Their brilliant idea goes perfectly with our bullying unit!

Have a bully free holiday!

Stop Bullying -- It Only Takes One!

The Fourth Graders just began learning about bullying. Such an important topic! For our first lesson we defined bullying.

Bullying=Danger

It is bullying if:
It's on purpose to hurt
It happens over and over
There is an imbalance of power

We also read and discussed the book "One." This book is a great way to demonstrate how sometimes it only takes "one" person to stop bullying! Here are some pictures about what fourth graders could say or do to stop a bullying situation.

.

You Can't Say "You Can't Play"

One way that kids sometimes bully others is by excluding them from their play. The first graders want to make sure that nobody gets left out, and if it does, they remind each other:

You can't say "You can't play!"

They love this idea, and they love talking about it! When I stop by their classrooms, inevitably someone comes up to me and repeats the saying or tells me about how they have used it recently. Sometimes someone will mistakenly say, "you can't play you can't say," which everyone finds very funny! Yesterday as they were leaving the cafeteria, one first grader saw me across the front lobby and called, "Hey Mrs. Lallier, you can't say 'you can't play!'" and scampered off to recess with a big smile on her face.

But what if the last time a kid played with you, he did something you didn't like? You still need to include him, but first ask him to please not do it again. You might say,

"Yes, you can play with us, but please follow the rules of the game"
or
"You can play with me, but please don't yell in my ear."

Here's an example:

If that doesn't work, then ask a teacher to help, but most of the time first graders know how to solve these problems themselves. When you and a friend work out your friendship problems all by yourselves, you feel very proud!

Recently one first grader told me that he has gotten better at "playing with different people and making friends with them and caring about other people. When [student] tells people they can’t play, I stand up for them and tell him, 'You can’t say you can’t play.'”

Here are some other pictures first graders drew about including others:

Brave, Bold First Graders

Do you know how to tell the difference between bullying and plain old mean behaviors? First graders do! They know that it's not okay to be mean OR to bully, because both of those behaviors are unfriendly and hurt people's feelings.

Recently, first graders finished a unit on bullying. They learned how to tell the difference between behavior that is mean and behavior that is bullying. It's bullying if one of these things is happening:

• someone is being mean over and over
• there is a threat
• a group of people is being mean

Ask a first grader to tell you what they should do if someone is bullying, and they will answer, "Tell a teacher." In our post-unit assessment all 38 of them got the answer to this question correct! Every student got a chance to practice telling Mrs. Burriss, Mrs. Thorburn, or Mrs. Lallier that they were being bullied. Here's what they said:

Student: Mrs. _______, someone is bullying me.
Teacher: How do you know it's bullying?
Student: It is happening over and over. / The person threatened me. /
A group of people are being mean.
Teacher: Thank you for telling me. We're going to solve this problem!

But what if the teacher you tell doesn't understand or doesn't believe you? First graders know -- you tell another teacher! They all practiced doing this as well:

Student: Mrs. _______, someone is bullying me.
Teacher 1: Oh, just ignore it! / Solve it yourself! / Go play! / Don't tattle!
Student: (goes to another teacher) Mrs. _______, someone is bullying me.
Teacher 2: How do you know it's bullying?
Student: It is happening over and over. / The person threatened me. /
A group of people are being mean.
Teacher 2: Thank you for telling me. We're going to solve this problem!

To help learn about the importance of telling an adult when bullying occurs, we read Howard B. Wigglebottom Learns About Bullies, and learned the refrain:

Be Brave, Be Bold
A Teacher Must be Told!

To hear the Be Brave, Be Bold song and find Howard B. Wigglebottom activities, click here.

Here are some more of the first graders' pictures of themselves telling a teacher about bullying.