EveryONE Belongs

To wrap up our first grade unit on bullying we read the book One by Kathryn Otoshi. The characters in the book are colors: Red, a bully; Blue, his target; and Yellow, Orange, Green, and Purple, who don't like the bullying, but don't know what to do to stop it. When they don't speak up, Red gets stronger and Blue gets weaker, and everyone is unhappy. . . Until One comes along and shows everyone how to stand up for themselves and each other. One provides a powerful lesson on including others and how sometimes just one person can make a difference.

The first graders thought about ways that they could make sure that everyone is included, then made collage pictures to illustrate their ideas about. Here are a few examples of kids including everyone when they play basketball, read, play foursquare, do math, play kickball, play hockey, and draw:

You Can't Say "You Can't Play"

One way that kids sometimes bully others is by excluding them from their play. The first graders want to make sure that nobody gets left out, and if it does, they remind each other:

You can't say "You can't play!"

They love this idea, and they love talking about it! When I stop by their classrooms, inevitably someone comes up to me and repeats the saying or tells me about how they have used it recently. Sometimes someone will mistakenly say, "you can't play you can't say," which everyone finds very funny! Yesterday as they were leaving the cafeteria, one first grader saw me across the front lobby and called, "Hey Mrs. Lallier, you can't say 'you can't play!'" and scampered off to recess with a big smile on her face.

But what if the last time a kid played with you, he did something you didn't like? You still need to include him, but first ask him to please not do it again. You might say,

"Yes, you can play with us, but please follow the rules of the game"
or
"You can play with me, but please don't yell in my ear."

Here's an example:

If that doesn't work, then ask a teacher to help, but most of the time first graders know how to solve these problems themselves. When you and a friend work out your friendship problems all by yourselves, you feel very proud!

Recently one first grader told me that he has gotten better at "playing with different people and making friends with them and caring about other people. When [student] tells people they can’t play, I stand up for them and tell him, 'You can’t say you can’t play.'”

Here are some other pictures first graders drew about including others:

Brave, Bold First Graders

Do you know how to tell the difference between bullying and plain old mean behaviors? First graders do! They know that it's not okay to be mean OR to bully, because both of those behaviors are unfriendly and hurt people's feelings.

Recently, first graders finished a unit on bullying. They learned how to tell the difference between behavior that is mean and behavior that is bullying. It's bullying if one of these things is happening:

• someone is being mean over and over
• there is a threat
• a group of people is being mean

Ask a first grader to tell you what they should do if someone is bullying, and they will answer, "Tell a teacher." In our post-unit assessment all 38 of them got the answer to this question correct! Every student got a chance to practice telling Mrs. Burriss, Mrs. Thorburn, or Mrs. Lallier that they were being bullied. Here's what they said:

Student: Mrs. _______, someone is bullying me.
Teacher: How do you know it's bullying?
Student: It is happening over and over. / The person threatened me. /
A group of people are being mean.
Teacher: Thank you for telling me. We're going to solve this problem!

But what if the teacher you tell doesn't understand or doesn't believe you? First graders know -- you tell another teacher! They all practiced doing this as well:

Student: Mrs. _______, someone is bullying me.
Teacher 1: Oh, just ignore it! / Solve it yourself! / Go play! / Don't tattle!
Student: (goes to another teacher) Mrs. _______, someone is bullying me.
Teacher 2: How do you know it's bullying?
Student: It is happening over and over. / The person threatened me. /
A group of people are being mean.
Teacher 2: Thank you for telling me. We're going to solve this problem!

To help learn about the importance of telling an adult when bullying occurs, we read Howard B. Wigglebottom Learns About Bullies, and learned the refrain:

Be Brave, Be Bold
A Teacher Must be Told!

To hear the Be Brave, Be Bold song and find Howard B. Wigglebottom activities, click here.

Here are some more of the first graders' pictures of themselves telling a teacher about bullying.

Responsible First Graders

The first graders completed the last page of their "My I-Care Rules" books with rule #5,
We Are Responsible for What We Say and Do. Here are some examples of how they take responsibility for their mistakes and for helping others:

Caring About Each Others' Feelings

The first graders continued working on their "I-Care Rules" books last week. They thought of lots of ways that they could show that they care about each others' feelings. They recognized that "We care about each others' feelings" is one of our DBS expectations, as well as being one of I-Care Cat's rules. Here are some examples of how first graders show empathy:

I-Care Language

I-Care Language is language that shows that you care about others, such as "please," "thank you," "I like you," "You're a good friend," and Mrs. Lallier's all time favorite, "I'm sorry."

First graders worked on I-Care Cat's third rule, "We use I-Care Language," last week. Here are some of their ideas about how they can use I-Care Language. Dads will be glad to know that a lot of kids were thinking about them when they drew their pictures!

Helping Hands

First graders illustrated page 2 of their "My I-Care Rules" books this week. They had lots of good ideas for how they can follow the I-Care rule:

Hands are for helping, not hurting.

Here are some examples:

We Listen to Each Other

First graders have started making their "My I-Care Rules" books in class councils.  Here are a few of their illustrations for rule #1: "We Listen to Each Other."  Notice the ears that help them be good listeners!

First Graders Learn the I-Care Rules

First graders are learning about friendship and conflict resolution in class councils with Mrs. Lallier.  We will spend six weeks exploring the I-Care Rules, with the help of I-Care Cat, a perennially favorite puppet. The kids will each make their own copy of "My I-Care Rules" book to bring home.  The I-Care Rules are:

1. We listen to each other.
2. Hands are for helping, not hurting.
3. We use I-Care Language
4. We care about each others' feelings.
5. We are responsible for what we say and do.

You may notice that rules #4 and #5 are two of our three DBS expectations. Yes, that's right, I-Care Cat is so influential around here that the DBS staff used some of his ideas when we developed our expectations in 1999, long before the current first graders were even born!

First grade class councils are on Mondays in both Mrs. Burriss' and Mrs. Thorburn's classes.  Last week we played a listening game and then made the first page of our books.  This week the kids will practice ways to use their hands for helping and will make page two of their "My I-Care Rules" books.